Victor Frankl, who was imprisoned in and lost many family members in Nazi concentration camps, wrote about how we can live hopefully, retain equilibrium and live positively even when the chips are down, day after day.
Fankl stated this: “In between stimulus and response is a space. In that space we can chose our response. And in choosing our response lies our freedom.” We are self-programmed to choose most of our emotional reactions automatically, without thinking about them. We react poorly and then blame circumstances (or people) for our emotional reactions.
While these reactions may seem to be the result of our circumstances, the choice in how we respond is ours. We can exercise control over our emotions and choose a healthy response intentionally.
To do this, we must insert a conscious choice into the space between stimulus – whatever triggers negative emotions – and the response. With practice we can recognize emotions welling up in us and “mind the gap”. If we feel hopeless, we can create the gap and begin thinking of grateful or hopeful things. If we are beginning to feel angry, we can choose tolerance, prosocial concern, or forgiveness.
Mind the Gap – We can choose to be hopeful, happy, at peace, forgiving, unoffended, and focused. It takes practice but doing so returns control in our lives to us. It restores our freedom. After all, who wants to be controlled by circumstances or the choices of other people when we can exercise choice and gain freedom?
What to do: Think through in advance the emotions you want when negative emotions begin to well up in you. When in emotionally taxing situations, “mind the gap.” Create the space to choose an intentional response to replace the usual automatic reaction.
Think about choosing gratitude for your many gifts and advantages, for opportunities you have, for friends, family, faith, and forgiveness. Think about hopeful things, about how much you love certain people and what they mean to you. Prepare these choices, then “mind the gap” and insert these new thoughts and emotions before the negative emotions take over.
Banner image via author, Meadow, Boulder Chain Lakes, White Cloud Peaks Wilderness, in Idaho.
No written content in this post is AI generated. The depiction of Viktor Franl is AI generated by the author.
